I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
