I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
