its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
