I think i peed on brittanys purse
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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