No, you can still breathe under the balls.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
