This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
