I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I love you.
Bad choice
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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