so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
