the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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