Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
