was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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