best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
