His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
