VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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