whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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