Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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