You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
