sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
