So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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