I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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