I have demons in me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
