so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
