We won't sleep together?
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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