I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
