he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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