he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
