Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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