she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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