Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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