I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
