you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
