Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
