all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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