the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
