You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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