He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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