I want to make a zoo with you.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
