Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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