It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
