i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
