He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
