he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
