Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
