Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
