there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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