Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
