There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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