he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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