My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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