i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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