When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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