is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
