Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
