she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Fuck appropriateness.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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