is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
